Why I've turned off paid subscriptions to Essential Nature
If my intent is to help you reconnect, I can't put a paywall between you and Nature
First a short story:
Your idea of enjoying the first snowfall in three years probably isn’t spending the evening voluntarily driving a 50-mile loop on snow-covered, icy mountain roads.
“I like riding,” Scott said, as if it were no big deal, which it probably isn’t for guys like him who work outside. He does this often, and stops to help people who aren’t as familiar with driving in nasty weather.
This is maybe the second time I’ve come across someone at ease enough with Nature to take whatever comes, accepting and seeking out Nature in all moods.
Full immersion vs. safe seclusion
Scott’s foray reminded me of British author Robert Macfarlane, who didn’t let wild weather conditions stop his foot journeys to retrace the ancient pathways that crisscross Britain.
Quite the opposite, Macfarlane left the snug warmth of an old stone traveler’s hut after his clothes dried out to head back into a blinding snowstorm for a full immersion in the wildness he was seeking.
While some will question the sanity of deliberately heading out on potentially treacherous roads and paths, that misses the point.
The point is that both men obviously have a different experience of Nature, the kind of relationship few of us can claim.
What happens if fear isn’t leading?
They’re led by their curiosity to discover what’s around the next curve in the road, rather than by fear of what they may find.
They’ve discovered that routinely getting outside and looking more closely reveals awe and wonder they can’t find anywhere else. They’ve relaxed into their relationship with experiencing Nature, knowing through personal experience that awe and wonder is often accompanied by temporary discomfort.
The awe and wonder remains sparkling in your memory and your body.
Full disclosure: Getting you into a full experience
That’s my intent for my writing and this newsletter – to get you outside to experience full-on immersion in Nature, to develop an intimate relationship with our world of non-human kin.
To relax into your relationship with Nature.
Yes, with the trees, flowers and pretty things, but also with the rocks, mountains, rivers and crawling things. To help you become open and insanely curious about experiencing – and accepting – Nature in all their moods from Instagram-pretty landscapes to piercing cold wind.
I can feel the objections prickling.
You don’t have to go far beyond your comfort zone
To be clear, I’m not talking about becoming buddies with snakes (although you could) or giving up deodorant and modern conveniences to live in the wild (although some are.)
My intent is to help you step beyond the comfort zone of your front door and give Nature more than a passing glance. To help you touch the deep primeval connections humans have had with the natural world for thousands of generations – that could tragically be lost in just a few generations.
To realize that Nature is not nice to have. Nature is all we have.
Reconnection is my sacred purpose
I’m convinced that our lost connection with the larger, non-human community of life on Earth is the primary cause of all the destruction facing the planet and humanity.
Grokking on a deep, gut level that we are connected with everything else on Earth—and frankly, everything in the Cosmos—quickly sorts out our priorities and relationships to show us what matters most.
After writing this newsletter for two years I truly believe my sacred purpose is to reconnect people with Nature, separate from the writing I do to generate an income.
Thinking is not the solution
In rethinking how this can work, I finally realized the disconnect I’ve missed.
If my intent and goal is to reconnect you with Nature, I have to get you to take action to experience Nature and feel something shift inside. Challenging your thinking may be a noble exercise, but I need to motivate you to take action, not think about taking action.
In the plainest of terms, we have to move from thinking to doing.
Here’s what’s coming from me
So rather than write only provocative essays, I need to give you actions – things to do – that will get you outside with a high chance of reconnecting with Nature.
Here’s how I’m restructuring Essential Nature to focus on helping you develop:
Daily practices - Creating a “Sit Spot” or two outside, where you can spend time daily opening your awareness and tapping into the energies of the natural world.
Non-intentional walks - Called “Wanders,” you’ll learn to let your curiosity and intuition lead without a headset, cellphone or productivity purpose.
Walking meditations - Recorded audio meditations to guide you on Wanders and walks.
Seated meditations - Recorded audio meditations to deepen your awareness and connection while you sit in Nature or inside.
Journaling prompts - Journaling in a pocket-sized notebook you take on Wanders can trigger profound insights, as can more contemplative journaling indoors.
Plus, I’ll need to blend in an emotional component and good storytelling to drive the ideas and lessons home and trigger action – to get you outside to experience it for yourself.
Simple, eh? The big question for me is whether I can craft writing powerful enough to move you outside to reconnect with Nature. We’ll see.
I’m going deeper along with you
The goal is to give you tangible actions that guide and support your reconnection to Nature, leading you to a full-immersion experience of awe and wonder.
I’ll still write the occasional essay because I can’t stop my brain from thinking that way, but that won’t be the primary focus on Essential Nature. In full transparency, I’ll be learning new things and deepening my connection along with you. I’m by no means a “master” at any of this.
My level of comfort with Nature was deeply shaken by experiencing Hurricane Helene, and I’m not glossing over the collective trauma many of us are still feeling from experiencing the force of Nature in natural disasters.
These collective traumas makes it even more important to reconnect with Nature.
Woo woo alert: Why you can’t ignore Nature
What hasn’t been shaken is my deep conviction that in Nature is the salvation of the world.
Here I go getting woo-woo on you, but it’s through Nature that we connect to the Divine, the Creator, the Source, whatever name you prefer. The more people reconnect, the more people care, the more people change, the more the world heals.
Newsflash: This is a spiritual journey.
It’s not about the paywall
Here’s the other disconnect I’ve been tripping over.
I turned on paid subscribers in October out of need, and quickly felt an uneasy sense of obligation. Even though I only had 12 subscribers, I felt I had to now produce a product. Considering I’ve always been paid for my writing, I was surprised to feel this way.
As my intent became more clear it seemed contrary to my goal to paywall more helpful content.
Free as the wind
So I’ve turned off paid subscriptions indefinitely.
Not that I don’t believe my work has value. It does, but adding more friction to getting you outside and experiencing daily bits of awe doesn’t make sense.
I would be honored to accept your donations if you feel my work is valuable and helpful on this journey. (You can set up a monthly donation if you prefer.) I’m exploring optional paid services and products, such as virtual workshops, digital guides and coaching services.
But my intent is that all the content is always free.
I’m not sure yet what these change will look like. I’ll be reformatting and categorizing the site over the next weeks to reflect the new intent and direction. And of course, I’m open to your suggestions and ideas.
Drop them in the comments or feel free to email me directly.
My deepest thanks for hanging with me during these chaotic last six months.
I appreciate your presence here and look forward to the energy we can generate together.
Now, go outside and wander!
Thanks, Marsha. I can appreciate that pull toward aligning your work here with a specific purpose and desired outcome. There are several ways I’d like the stories I post here to serve readers … entertainment, enlightenment, inspiration, appreciation, connection … but over the course of my six months here I’ve grappled with doubts over whether what I’m doing will be enough to move people in ways that these times are going to require. A few days ago I wrote an introduction to my next story, informing my handful of subscribers that I was going to start putting up paywalls, but much of my logic for doing so, which I went to some length to explain in this intro, felt contrived, even to me. So the story sits as a draft, while I grapple with “business” decisions and questions of greater purposes, especially, regarding the latter, now that a new/old president is taking dead aim at protections, values and ethical standards very dear to me and millions of other Americans. This is all to say that I appreciate the effort and time you are putting into your work and mission here. I look forward to hearing more from you and enjoying some of the benefits of your guidance.
Marsha, I'm with you!
I know in my youth, I got SO MUCH SOLACE from Nature!
Nothing else was good enough.
I grew up in the southern US, so we didn't get much snow.
But I recall revelling in it, going until I was totally exhausted before finally succumbing to my wet, frozen clothes, frozen feet and hands. Let's not forget my stinging cold ears and nose. None of that mattered!
I also remember riding my bike in such a rainstorm that I decided to ride into the lake, because after all, I couldn't get any wetter.
(I was wrong, my wallet hadn't been submerged until going into the lake, and forever more, my SS card was stained brown.)
I had the memory of that ride-swim held by the rusty chain on my bike, too. At any time, I could simply look at it and recall fondly the memories of that day.
As I got older, I went on camping trips, even backpacking for a full 10 days in the Smokey Mtns. Another pouring rainstorm completed that memory, as we had to cross a raging river in that storm by walking across a slippery tree that had fallen across the river. It was 50-60 feet of awe and (almost) terror trying to balance on that tree trunk with the wind whipping my poncho. It was so difficult to NOT stare into the deep water being pelted by the hard rain, with the wind stirring up the turbulence.
And so many years later when my wife and I got married, we had to drive through a blizzard across the mountains in Maryland on a 2-lane road with sharp turns and steep dropoffs. My wife's claws were buried in the dashboard, but I couldn't wipe the smile off my face as we slid around, as I tried to keep the speed up so we didn't get stuck. Since she grew up there, she knew where the road was, and there were a few times she informed me, "We're in the ditch! In the ditch!" but as long as we were still moving forward, I wasn't concerned.
No, any kind of storm never dimmed my love for Nature, her soothing gentleness or awesome power.
I've even watched tornados with awe, while everyone else was running for cover, I couldn't take my eyes off her.
Unfortunately, in my later years my life has succumbed to the impact of decades of chronic, intractible pain, and I don't go out in Nature as often.
I feel tied to my recliner, because that's the only way to get my spine in a "neutral" position where I'm not wrestling against muscle spasms. I also can't stand the high heat as much as I loved it when I was young.
So, I think I will enjoy reading whatever you write, as long as it's about Nature and her moods, her mighty strength, her soothing yet sometimes unforgiving embrace.
I also agree that Nature is often the only cure for what ails us in these modern times, precisely because we've gotten too far away.
And, I've never agreed with the men ("developers") who thought they could "simply overpower her."
Ha! Never in a million years!
🤔 🤪